-
Cross my
legs. (What woman doesn’t cross their legs?) Apparently it’s bad for my back and also not
great for circulation.
-
Sit on my
legs. (In spite of the fact that I
was actually in a cast for six weeks at nineteen because I tried walking when
my feet were asleep after a long stint of sitting on them while reading my
bible (!), I continue to find this one of the most comfortable positions in the
world. I try to refrain from doing it at
dinner because I know it is a poor model for my children, but I find myself doing
it quite often in the staff room at work.
They already find me quite shocking so what’s one more offense?
-
Eat food
other than the food I bring to work.
Someone told me once that a sure-fire way to stay thin was to eat only
what you carted to work yourself in your own lunch bag. Fair enough, but if any of you are teachers
and see what manifests itself on the staffroom table most days, you wouldn’t
judge some of us for being a bit pudgy.
The goodies (especially in around holiday time) are plethora and
astronomically delicious.
-
Wear high
heels. I know. I know.
They’re bad for my back. They’re
bad for my feet. They’re
uncomfortable. But I TRANSFORM when I
wear heels. I am a new woman. I am taller, more confident. Slimmer.
In pain. And it’s worth it. I promise you. (If any of you have any recommendations for
super comfy high heels, please let me know.)
-
Read
trashy magazines. I know I was a lit
major and I know great writing when I read it.
In fact, I love erudite and high falutin’ novels. But I also love celebrity gossip and mags
with little tips that will supposedly transform my life like throwing the dish
sponges in the dishwasher to get rid of bacteria or using flat Coke to clean
the toilet or saving money by using conditioner instead of shaving cream to
shave your legs. (Not that this is a
regular occurrence.)
-
Swear. I’ve mostly given this up because it’s no
longer novel for me, but when I allowed myself permission to be spiritual
without belonging to an organized religion, I developed a sailor’s mouth for a
while. My family was shocked. Heck, I
was shocked. I guess that was part
of the fun of it. I kind of like to
shock people, but, frankly, I’m not very shocking. Swearing is about as good as it gets with
me. Occasionally I let loose a tirade,
but never in front of my children or students, not to fear. Mostly, it’s in the tub while I’m supposed to
be meditating.
-
Take too
many baths. Apparently it dries out
my skin something awful. But aside from
wearing high heels, I can partake of all my other “shouldn’ts right there in the frothy bubbles. It feels good to be a rule breaker.
I’m
sure there are a bunch more things I shouldn’t be doing but do anyway, but that’s
enough guilt for one day. What are your guilty
pleasures?
Hmmm....guilty pleasures?
ReplyDeleteWatching back to back episodes of my favourite TV Shows like "House", "The Good Wife", all the CSI's, NCIS'.
Once in awhile indulging in my love of smoked salmon spread on a fresh baguette watching a good movie.
Having an evening all alone in the house...it is very rare
Playing an addictive computer game (this is happening right now) until all hours of the morning and then paying the price the next day. My eyes are so small with sleep that even wearing my glasses sometimes doesn't help!
Once every 3 months getting a facial and a massage.
A bottle of sparking wine, proseco or champagne with my honey.
That's about it, nothing grandiose.
Ooh, I sit on my legs all the time. (Right now, in fact!)
ReplyDeleteTV back to back episodes of favorite shows are the equivalent of being a kid and going to see a double feature at a movie - especially if you have popcorn, too!
ReplyDelete