Ah, it’s good to spend time with friends with whom you have
a longstanding history: friends who get you, who know all your stories already,
friends where there is no awkwardness or you have to hide anything from.
Last night was just such a friendship night: Claire, Tracy
and myself, over two pitchers of Margaritas and a whole lot of cheese
(including TWO orders of nachos), caught up on each other’s lives in a way that
only friends who have been through thick and thin together can.
We’ve been through babies and moves and job losses and
founds; we’ve been through ill health and bad hair and weight loss and weight
gain and wrinkles (mostly mine); we’ve spent many a holiday together, many a
long, lazy Sunday afternoon, taken trips together and watched our children wax
and wane (mostly wax) together.
It’s not always easy for me to be social. I appear social. I’m good socially – I know the game and
I enjoy it for periods of time - but when push comes to shove, I’m a
loner. I’m a gal who needs a lot
of down time. Even if I get home
at midnight after a night of socializing and just good old-fashioned fun, I
still need time to lie in bed and do crosswords or read or do something that is
solitary before I can go to sleep.
Sometimes I think I could have been a nun. That simple, solitary lifestyle appeals
to me on many levels. (I know many
of you are snorting at this point, not being able to imagine me in silence,
minus magazines and crackpot schemes of grandeur and limelight.) But at my deepest deep, I want peace,
silence, and often solitude.
Being with two of my closest friends in the world, however,
IS like downtime: only downtime with a blast of energy and fresh air. It’s like I can just be me in the same
way I can just be me when I’m alone (except I’m still wearing a bra). Last
night was so delightful to just laugh and remember and catch up and talk about
what was real, but in a way that wasn’t too serious or intense, even though a
lot of what is real in our lives IS serious and intense.
I think we all
felt that way last night: like we were indulging in some very special downtime
(as opposed to “on” time where you feel that you have to put on some kind of
show or fulfill your obligations).
There were no feelings of obligation or guilt about where or who else we
should be with last night: we were just there for each other through and
through. There was no need to put
on a show, other than the kind (for me, anyway), that just runs through my
veins. There was no one-upmanship
or competing for attention. There
were just three friends all together, completely relishing one another’s
company: happiness in one of its truest forms.
Maybe it was the frozen margaritas that gave us brain freeze
and giddy happiness, but it’s more likely that it was just the pure joy of
being together with people you really and truly love after too long of an
absence.
My aspirations:
To spend a little more of my “downtime” with the people I
really and truly love and maybe just a little bit less with only myself.
To cherish the dear friends that I have and be a better,
more loyal communicator with them in spite of having a phone phobia and a
tendency toward being antisocial.
To indulge in my friendships, but lay off the cheese! (As for the margaritas, I don’t have them
often enough to feel any guilt. In
fact, I should have more. But only
in the company of friends.)
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