Saturday, February 2, 2013
10 Lessons Learned From Downton Abbey Season Three
Don't dress for dinner if you're staying at home. Your pajamas will do just fine.
Don't let crimp your hair like Edith. You'll just look like you have waffle fries plastered to your head. It's even worse than Princess Leia's cinnamon roll hairdo.
Don't ask your mother-in-law to lend you money. Even if she is Shirley Maclaine. Better to go to the bank.
Don't trust women who have a ringlet around each ear. They're out to get you.
Don't wear an apron; you'll just look dowdy. (Unless you're a man and you wear one with the boobies: then you'll just look like an ass.)
Don't get framed for murder. If you do, check your mattress regularly and make friends with the right guards. (The ones with big teeth and long faces.)
Don't set your table with more than a fork, spoon and a knife. It's too confusing. You can even get rid of the knife. That's what thumbs are for.
Don't have home delivery. Of a baby, that is.
Don't have your husband sleep in the drawing room since you don't have one; just show him to the sofa bed when he snores too much.
Don't hire prostitutes as household help. Better yet, don't hire them at all.