Goal Setting and Daily Life

My success partner and me, a few moons ago

A few weeks ago, my good friend Eydie and I decided to form a success partnership. We are both writers who want to get more serious about publishing, and we have also realized we have stories to share and inspiration to give so we are starting a podcast together. More information on this is soon to follow! Meantime, we are doing some goal setting to set us up for success. Eydie and I each wrote our goals for the week on our little balcony today so in between sharing and writing them down, we will be be more likely to succeed in our ambitious and rather copious endeavors. I will write for half an hour and revise for 15 minutes each day; on top of that I am also committed to reprising my blog and posting twice a week. I also aspire to 10,000 steps a day PLUS some every-other-day Pilates or yoga sessions off of YouTube.

But that’s not all! Then there’s morning meditation and evening daydreaming about beautiful life possibilities to both manifest the life of my dreams and also to have beautiful dreams – mine are usually a horror and keep me from ever even wanting to sleep.

Nope, not finished yet: I’m also committed to reading two books this week – one nonfiction on getting a podcast up and running (Yes, it’s going to happen!) and also the Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert. I spend so much time reading news and on social media that I think the goal of reading one work of fiction per week will turn my life around creatively and attitude-wise: I want to insert beautiful words and universal themes into my brain as opposed to speculations, incendiary comments and all-around bad news. I'm going to alter my reading choices in order to open up my heart and bring down its rate.

Lulu, my friend Eydie's daughter, who is going into fifth grade, is over for night with my two daughters who are starting ninth and eleventh grade. It’s quite wonderful the way they are getting along – they’ve had makeup competitions, I drove them all to Dairy Queen for treats (of which I imbibed as well) and they are going to watch Jessie, an insipid-to-adults Disney sitcom that is both banal and funny enough to engage many tween and teen girls. Another goal I wrote down is to spend quality time with each of my daughters, and also to give them as much freedom as possible. They're still nesting with us, but largely independent so I want our last few years before they graduate to involve many joyful activities, but also help them develop their independence by giving them both responsibility and freedom in equal measure.

This morning my sister in law, Ellen, met me for a walk and we stumbled upon an estate sale with very strict masking and people-limit rules for entering. We didn’t get in our usual brisk stroll, but it was very exciting to be in a wealthy (if deceased) person’s house. Honestly, it was thrilling to be in any house. There was a frisson of excitement from everyone present as most of Madison continues to be hunkered down in our covid-crisis times. Finding old treasures, which once gave a tingle of excitement, is now orgasmic. I found a Trek bicycle for Charlotte at the sale, which was quite the feat as bicycles, trampolines, swimming pools, barbeques and anything to do with gardening are all but non-existent in the current climate of summer and covid. Anything that provides pleasure combined with privacy from other people is a commodity. My "good times" goals (Aren't those awesome goals to have?) are to be more social (Both Ellen and Eydie are on my quaranteam so that's a win!) and to have fun thrifting for treasures so these goals are easily and happily being accomplished.

I feel very content to be living simply in this slightly dingy house that needs much in the way of improvement and amenities. It’s fun to accumulate necessities day by day instead of having everything all at once. The smallest items feel like treasures when they require a search.

So, the daily routines of walking and meditating and cooking and nesting and writing and reading and time with the people I love are falling into place at this place. I’d like to be able to explore our new city more with our daughters: Don grew up here and knows it well; I lived here with him for less than a year 20-some years ago, and we visit most summers. I have a lot of nostalgia and love tied up in Madison. Also, seeing how at-home and motivated and normalizing this is for my Midwestern-to-the core sweetheart truly affirms that we’ve made the right decision in buying our little covid condo that will be our home until we are called back to Beijing and for summers to come. Living without luxury but with all that we need is a good practice and makes me feel both content and at peace. It’s a privilege to be in the position of being able to get whatever we want, yet choosing to go easy on the purchases.

The radio stations – WORT and Wisconsin Public Radio - play most of the day from the 1970s radio that Don got on the second day here. It has made him probably happier than most possessions he’s ever had. Just hearing the music and the Midwestern commentators is like balm to his soul. It decompresses him in a way that maybe sitting on the porch steps with my mom and schnabbling green beans might for me. It’s a fine thing to witness, and his happiness gives me a great deal of my own. Happiness is always a goal, the most important of them all. In fact, all of my goals are written in the expectation that they will improve my happiness factor. There are many roads to happiness and we are finding them in abundance here in Madison.

Enjoying and embracing sleep is my final goal. I’d like to ease into sleep tonight like a fine car purrs into its garage and turns the ignition off. I want to start a tradition of deep sleeping with only dreams that befit a happy person. I wonder, is this possible? I’m hoping it is, and I am ready to give it a go. Let’s see how it goes. It's "good sleeping weather" as they like to say here in Wisconsin, so I will keep the windows open along with my heart, hoping my sleeping life will be as sweet as my day life.