We are not a praying family, at least not in the conventional sense. We are, however, a thankful family. For us, listing what we are thankful for is our grace at dinner time. Some years ago, my parents were due to visit us in Hong Kong and I flew into a little panic. I grew up in a praying family and I knew my parents would expect grace at the table. We were raising socially conscious daughters, but they were certainly not familiar with the God I grew up with.
Truth be told, I love a good routine. It knits a little scarf around the people involved and collectively warms us. After some soul searching and brainstorming, Don and I instituted the “What are you thankful for?” dinner routine that has seen us through the last 10 years or so, with a few lapses in between. In the beginning, it was short and sweet. Each family member said one thing they were thankful for while the food sat on the ready. Over time it has evolved into talking with our mouths full, not letting the food go cold, while the family disseminates their days. I try to keep it short and sweet, but inevitably conversations grow from the thankfuls.
“The food, the day, the weather and all of you:” This is our standby when we don’t want to talk much. Myrna, who was our beloved helper in Hong Kong, used that one a lot. We have taken it on with enthusiasm. Usually, though, things are brought up that beg more conversation. Charlotte will often monopolize with her thankfuls, and sometimes she manages to subvert them into complaints, in typical teenage fashion. In between Don asking questions and Charlotte regaling us with all the meandering details of her daily minutiae, her thankfuls can often lead us into the second helpings unless I, always the moderator, cut her off.
Emily’s thankfuls are of the concise variety and are often about food, time outside, and a good sleep; Don’s meander into storytelling paragraphs quite often, as he tells about his day, the fun encounters he had with his students and always end with how grateful he is to have his three gals in our estrogen-filled home, wherever that may be these days.
I usually come up last, and even though I can be a magnificent chit chatter, we are usually almost at dessert time or Charlotte is starting to clear away the dishes while Emily is still slowly pondering through her plate. So I say a thing or two, often about hot baths, cozy rugs, air conditioning, (depending on the season), and always how grateful I am to have manifested this magnificent, funny family who is almost always able to share dinner and thankfuls together.
