I do love a fresh start. I try to have one every day as evidenced by the blog’s name, but this DOES feel like a time to reflect, think retrospectively, ponder what I want to do differently or better, and speculate on what I no longer want to do. I love an excuse to make a list and check it off, but I also love upping my game, even if it’s just a slight tweak.
I am a born pessimist and a learned optimist so little things that I can build into my day that remind me that everything is working out for me and that all will be okay until I die (and that will be okay too: perhaps even better), is something that I am always aspiring to do in order to reassure myself and build up and maintain my optimism muscle.
The latest technique I’ve been using that helps me reset is to ask myself, “Is this a satisfying thought?” If it isn’t, I can then decide to turn it into a better thought, think about something altogether different, OR shift gears and have a bath or watch a fun tv show or get lost in a book.
I suspect we’d be truly amazed if we counted how many times we put ourselves down in the course of the day and/or thought of worst-case scenarios or dreaded upcoming events or just let ourselves think about all the things we don’t like about our jobs or our moody teenagers or our partners who can’t read our minds.
People probably view me as a pretty positive character as I flit through the periphery of their lives, but if they saw the inward me, they would see someone who easily goes to places that are deeply self-critical and, to be honest, self-indulgent. Why am I thinking about myself this much, anyway? Obsessing on whether I’ve eaten more than I thought was appropriate for a woman of 55 with a rapidly degenerating metabolism or why my body is still the same one I was born with and hasn’t morphed into a Barbie version of me simply isn’t productive, yet still I persist. Why would I waste any of my brain power on self-critical thoughts when I have lived in this body and with this brain for this many years?
Saying “This is who I am and I am going to fully accept and love myself” and truly meaning it to the soles of one’s feet is a signal of deep evolution that I haven’t yet reached. It interests me no end that I easily accept and love (most) other folks without judgment or “I’ll accept you if…” bargains, yet the voice in my head beleaguers me with comments of inadequacy about appearance, brain power, effort, efficacy, skill, talent, ad infinitum.
It’s tiring to be this person. I wonder if you are tired too? Do you even notice the nonsense you allow your brains to tell you? I recently reread something by Eckhart Tolle essentially saying that we are the universe temporarily residing in our bodies. This is powerful stuff. When I meditate (she says beratingly), I have begun starting with this thought, coming at my practice from a place of power and infinity. If I am the universe then I can surely sync with it for 15 or 20 minutes and get a recharge as I listen to the fan hum and focus on my breathing, even when I am interrupted by great belches of reality every few seconds that have me scurrying back to the fan and the breath. It’s such an effort, even for this short period of time, but I’d like to believe it is one worth taking.
I know that many of our ugliest thoughts about ourselves are not even on the surface – they may be so deeply ingrained that they skitter across our brainwaves like a skipping stone with barely a ripple - but if we can start to notice what that critical self is saying, that may be the beginning of a new reality. Our own self-involvement is a given because really, how can we NOT be self-involved? We are here on this planet in our own bodies with our own thoughts. It is all about ourselves, isn’t it? But if I can begin to hear and then question those thoughts that are neither kind nor fruitful, then I can move toward my own acceptance and happiness.
“Is this a satisfying thought?” can bring us back to ourselves in an authentic way where we can then make a conscious decision to come up with a better reality and think a better thought: something that empowers us and doesn’t bring us down but lifts us up, and in doing so, lifts others up.
May your thoughts be satisfying. And when they are not, may you go back and adjust them so they are. This, I believe, is how we get to a happy new year. Which I wish for all of you. And me.
I am a born pessimist and a learned optimist so little things that I can build into my day that remind me that everything is working out for me and that all will be okay until I die (and that will be okay too: perhaps even better), is something that I am always aspiring to do in order to reassure myself and build up and maintain my optimism muscle.
The latest technique I’ve been using that helps me reset is to ask myself, “Is this a satisfying thought?” If it isn’t, I can then decide to turn it into a better thought, think about something altogether different, OR shift gears and have a bath or watch a fun tv show or get lost in a book.
I suspect we’d be truly amazed if we counted how many times we put ourselves down in the course of the day and/or thought of worst-case scenarios or dreaded upcoming events or just let ourselves think about all the things we don’t like about our jobs or our moody teenagers or our partners who can’t read our minds.
People probably view me as a pretty positive character as I flit through the periphery of their lives, but if they saw the inward me, they would see someone who easily goes to places that are deeply self-critical and, to be honest, self-indulgent. Why am I thinking about myself this much, anyway? Obsessing on whether I’ve eaten more than I thought was appropriate for a woman of 55 with a rapidly degenerating metabolism or why my body is still the same one I was born with and hasn’t morphed into a Barbie version of me simply isn’t productive, yet still I persist. Why would I waste any of my brain power on self-critical thoughts when I have lived in this body and with this brain for this many years?
Saying “This is who I am and I am going to fully accept and love myself” and truly meaning it to the soles of one’s feet is a signal of deep evolution that I haven’t yet reached. It interests me no end that I easily accept and love (most) other folks without judgment or “I’ll accept you if…” bargains, yet the voice in my head beleaguers me with comments of inadequacy about appearance, brain power, effort, efficacy, skill, talent, ad infinitum.
It’s tiring to be this person. I wonder if you are tired too? Do you even notice the nonsense you allow your brains to tell you? I recently reread something by Eckhart Tolle essentially saying that we are the universe temporarily residing in our bodies. This is powerful stuff. When I meditate (she says beratingly), I have begun starting with this thought, coming at my practice from a place of power and infinity. If I am the universe then I can surely sync with it for 15 or 20 minutes and get a recharge as I listen to the fan hum and focus on my breathing, even when I am interrupted by great belches of reality every few seconds that have me scurrying back to the fan and the breath. It’s such an effort, even for this short period of time, but I’d like to believe it is one worth taking.
I know that many of our ugliest thoughts about ourselves are not even on the surface – they may be so deeply ingrained that they skitter across our brainwaves like a skipping stone with barely a ripple - but if we can start to notice what that critical self is saying, that may be the beginning of a new reality. Our own self-involvement is a given because really, how can we NOT be self-involved? We are here on this planet in our own bodies with our own thoughts. It is all about ourselves, isn’t it? But if I can begin to hear and then question those thoughts that are neither kind nor fruitful, then I can move toward my own acceptance and happiness.
“Is this a satisfying thought?” can bring us back to ourselves in an authentic way where we can then make a conscious decision to come up with a better reality and think a better thought: something that empowers us and doesn’t bring us down but lifts us up, and in doing so, lifts others up.
May your thoughts be satisfying. And when they are not, may you go back and adjust them so they are. This, I believe, is how we get to a happy new year. Which I wish for all of you. And me.
